{"id":721,"date":"2017-08-17T17:12:48","date_gmt":"2017-08-17T21:12:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?p=721"},"modified":"2026-06-18T13:37:09","modified_gmt":"2026-06-18T17:37:09","slug":"the-ballad-of-bros","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cornelllunatic.com\/?p=721","title":{"rendered":"\u2019Twas the night before O-Week…"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u2019Twas the night before O-Week, when all through Cornell
\n<\/span>Not a creature was stirring, not even one of the many rats that live in every North Campus stairwell.
\n<\/span>The freshman were nestled, all snug in their beds,
\n<\/span>While visions of academic recognition danced in their heads.
\n<\/span>When out on the quad there arose such a clatter,
\n<\/span>I sprang from my inconveniently-sized twin bed to see what was the matter.
\n<\/span>When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
\n<\/span>But a sick freshman and eight dudes full of beer!
\n<\/span>More rapid than eagles his friends they came,
\n<\/span>And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
\n<\/span>\u201cNow, <\/span>Brad<\/span><\/i>! now, <\/span>Chad<\/span><\/i>! now <\/span>Bryce<\/span><\/i> and <\/span>Mike<\/span><\/i>!
\n<\/span>On, <\/span>John<\/span><\/i>! on, <\/span>Tom<\/span><\/i>! on, <\/span>Ike<\/span><\/i> and <\/span>the other Mike<\/span><\/i>!
\n<\/span>Right next to this wall! Where I hooked up with that girl!
\n<\/span>Now dash away! dash away! I\u2019m going to hurl!\u201d
\n<\/span>And then, in a heaving, I heard by the wall
\n<\/span>The gagging and splashing of too much alcohol.
\n<\/span>A wipe of his mouth and a twist of his head
\n<\/span>Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
\n<\/span>He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
\n<\/span>And stumbled back home like some kind of jerk.
\n<\/span>But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he hobbled out of sight\u2014
\n<\/span>\u201cHappy O-Week to all, and to all a good night!\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\u2014Ian Kranz \u201919<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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