Scott Gibsley<\/p>\n
They say that every straight guy is allowed one man-crush. For me, the clear winner by far is Jar Jar Binks from Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. I don\u2019t know what it is, but there\u2019s something\u00a0about those scaly eye stalks and voice that really does it for me. Just imagine the sound of him\u2014\u201cOoh mooey mooey meesa love you!\u201d and tell me that doesn\u2019t make you want to use the Dark Side of the\u00a0Force on that rockin\u2019 alien bod.<\/p>\n
Now, some men develop obsessions around their favorite athlete, for example, and more often\u00a0than not they\u2019ll assert wholeheartedly that there\u2019s nothing sexual about their fanship. Me, I don\u2019t\u00a0get it. One, it\u2019s just an athlete; what\u2019s the big deal? Two, don\u2019t you dare pretend for a second that Jar Jar\u00a0deserves only platonic love. Give in to the tantalizing siren call that is his very essence. It\u2019s a common\u00a0misconception that George Lucas wrote the character in as comic relief. Not true. He\u2019s what some refer\u00a0to as \u201cfanservice.\u201d You watch an intense Jedi light saber duel for a couple minutes, then you sit back and
\nenjoy some eye-candy in the form of a Gungan from the planet Naboo. Sex sells, and Lucas knows it.<\/p>\n
There have also been accusations that Jar Jar\u2019s personality fosters racist undertones, even comparing\u00a0the performance to blackface. But consider the social context of the film\u2019s release in 1999 America,\u00a0and you\u2019ll see that this only makes the whole thing even hotter. Interracial marriage had been forbidden\u00a0by law in over a dozen US states only thirty-two years prior to the premiere of Episode I. That means that\u00a0below the Mason-Dixon line, folks would have lusted after Jar Jar like forbidden fruit. And to merge two\u00a0movie quotes from the great filmmakers Kubrick and Lucas, that makes meesa horny.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"